


Convalescence

by Keyseeker



Series: Goddess Meg, Baby Apollo, and Skelekittens [3]
Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, The Trials of Apollo - Rick Riordan
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-26
Updated: 2019-08-13
Packaged: 2019-10-16 07:21:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 19,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17545226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Keyseeker/pseuds/Keyseeker
Summary: Sequel to Delos Days.Apollo, Meg, Leto, and Artemis stay at Camp Half-blood as Apollo grows up again.Chapter 1 summary: Apollo desperately tries to hold onto his memories of Jason and convey his idea for honoring Jason's death. Also he loves his kids, even when he can't remember that they're his kids.Chapter 2 summary: Apollo gets advice from Chiron on coping with loss.Chapter 3 summary: Meg has a demigod dream. Artemis starts training her for the trials that are to come.Chapter 4 summary: Thalia has a flashback to when she found out about Jason's death and her subsequent interaction with Apollo. In the present, she travels to Camp Half-blood for Jason's funeral and to apologize for her actions.Chapter 5 summary: Little Apollo's bored and tries to make a new friend. Unfortunately some of his actions as a god have come back to haunt him.Chapter 6 summary: Harley returns to Camp Half-blood, eager to see Apollo again.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to garecc for betaing!

 

 

Week 0, Day 6, Afternoon

Apollo’s POV

Camp Half-Blood unfolded ahead of us.

We’d been traveling for several hours. The Moon chariot is fast, but even it takes time to travel across continents and oceans. I was practically buzzing with anticipation. Will, Kayla, Austin, I wanted to see them so badly! Just remembering their faces brought a lump of homesickness to my throat.

Artemis noticed the expression on my face. “Don’t worry, little brother,” she soothed. “The campers are friendly, and I know your children would love to see you again.”

I jolted. Children? What? What was she talking about? I couldn’t comprehend her words. I knew I should understand, but I just… didn’t. I looked at my sister in confusion.

Artemis frowned. “Apollo? What’s wrong?”

What was wrong? I couldn’t remember, but there was something… “Do’t know,” I muttered.

Artemis looked concerned, but she didn’t press the matter.

We descended on the camp. Campers looked up, shocked, and ran to the side to give us a wide berth.

We landed smoothly, Artemis’s deer trotting to a stop. Mother held me in her arms as we departed. I could walk now, but I was still pretty unsteady.

After a moment of shock, one of the campers started forwards. “Lady Artemis? Meg? What’s going on? Is everything alright? What happened to Dad? I know he died, and then Meg died, and then she came back and people weren’t freaking out as much, and just… what HAPPENED?”

Will.

I started burbling and squirming, reaching for the ground. I couldn’t concentrate enough to speak right then. Will was here! And he was worried. I needed to hug him!

Mom set me down. I ran to Will as fast as my little legs could take me… which wasn’t very fast. Or steady. I managed to trip and fall twice in the twenty feet I had to run. But I just got up and kept on running. I wasn’t gonna let a little thing like “having trouble balancing on two legs” stop me!

“Will, Will!” I called excitedly, reaching my arms up. Will immediately figured out what I was asking for and picked me up, though he looked perplexed.

I buried my face into his shoulder. Will was here. He was okay. But what about…?

I unburied my face. “Au’tin!” I cried out. “Kay’a!”

Will looked seriously confused, but he answered me. “Austin and Kayla are in the infirmary-” My heart clenched. They were injured? Would… would they be okay? Scenes of my dead loved ones flashed before my eyes. Daphne. Hyacinthus. Crest. JASON. I whimpered and teared up, missing the end of Will’s sentence. Will trailed off as he looked at my face. “What’s wrong?”

“JASON!” I cried out, sobbing into Will’s shoulder.

Will seemed even MORE confused if that was possible. Artemis took pity on him and started explaining.

“That’s Apollo. Meg hung onto his essence when he died, and when she brought herself back from death, she brought him back to. He was still pretty weak from almost dying though, so he was reborn as an infant. He’s been slowly growing back up again, and regaining his memories along the way. We’re not quite sure how much he remembers at this point - he just started talking when he asked to go to Camp Half-blood. We know he remembers you, Kayla, and Austin at least, and Jason.”

Will’s eyes went wide.  He stammered out, “Uh… okay.”

Then he frowned. “Wait… how did Meg return from the dead? Did she have the Physician’s Cure? Nico said that both Meg and Apollo’s deaths felt REALLY weird, so I thought that might be how Meg returned, and part of why I thought Apollo survived, but he said that their deaths felt different from Leo’s death.”

My sister smiled proudly. “Meg was already strong, but after meeting the dryads at Aeithales, she became even stronger. People can become gods if they are worshipped enough. Dionysus was originally a demigod, a strong one, but he wasn’t a god. When the nature spirits started to worship him as a god, he slowly became a full god, though it was a gradual transformation, and it wasn’t truly completed until he ascended to Olympus, burning up his mortal body in the process. Similarly, Meg started on the road to godhood when the dryads of her old home started worshipping her, and she was given a massive boost when the Meliai sprouted, especially since they spread word of Meg across Southern California, acting as her missionaries.”

“They did?” Meg asked.

Artemis nodded. “While we were on Delos, I sent one of my manifestations to Aeithales, so I could discover how exactly you were able to become a god. I had suspicions of course, but I didn’t know the details.”

Artemis turned back to Will. “Meg was right on the verge of becoming a god when Zeus destroyed her physical body. Unknowingly, he spurred on her transformation into a full-fledged goddess, as destruction of the mortal body and replacement with a divine one is required for a god to access the full extent of their powers.”

Will opened his mouth, then shut it again. “I… really shouldn’t be surprised. The Emperors became minor gods. Why not Meg?”

At this point, my sniffles had died down. I had something I needed to do.

Jason.

I had to remember him.

I had to remember what I had learned.

Remember what it’s like to be human.

I needed to set up a reminder, so I’d never forget. And to honor his sacrifice. Hyacinthus, Daphne, and Crest had reminders, but not Jason. Not yet.

I looked around, hoping for ideas.

Then I saw it.

A lone pine tree.

Thalia’s tree.

It was fitting for them to be honored together. The brother and sister who had both stayed back to buy their friends time to escape, and had paid the ultimate price.

I squirmed a bit. “Down, down!” I cried. Will hurriedly put me down.

I toddled towards the tree. “Where are you going?” Will called, following me. Artemis, Meg, and Leto weren’t far behind. I pointed towards the tree while I attempted to run… which was a bad move, as that caused me to lose my balance and face-plant. My pride was taking a beating today.

I scrambled to my feet and kept on running.

I arrived at the tree, my family close behind me. I had a feeling that if I tried to breach the boundary they would snatch me up. Thankfully, that wouldn’t be necessary.

I turned to face my family. “Jason! Remember!” I cried out, pointing near the tree.

They still looked confused. How to do this… I spied a small rock on the ground. Picking it up, I waved it at my audience. “Remember Jason!” I cried, stringing the words together. I planted the stone in the ground near the pine tree’s roots.

Will got the idea first. “You want a monument for Jason at Thalia’s tree?” He asked. I nodded, smiling, tearing up at the thought.

Will smiled sadly at me. “I think he’d like that. We should get Thalia here too. She should have a say in it.”

Thalia

The name filled me with dread and guilt. I didn’t remember who she was, but I knew somehow that she would be angry with me had been angry with me and I would deserve it.

Artemis nodded. “It’s about time that I meet with Thalia again. I have been away from my Hunters for too long. I’ll ask them to head to Camp. Honestly I should be out there with them, but…” Artemis gazed at me. “I will not leave my brother this soon. Not when he can’t even run without falling over.”

I pouted. Sis was being totally unfair! I could SO run without falling over!

To demonstrate, I tried to run down the hill. And promptly tripped and started rolling down it. Will swept me up before I could tumble more than a few meters.

I yawned. Will’s arms were sooooo comfy!

Will noticed my sleepy expression. “I think that’s enough for you for today. You need a nap.”

“Don’ wanna,” I mumbled impetuously. Will just smiled that calm, soothing smile of his as he launched into a lullaby. I was asleep within seconds.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks to garecc for betaing!**

Week 0, Day 6, Evening

Apollo’s POV

 

I woke up in a dark room. I didn’t know where I was, but for some reason, I wasn’t afraid. I felt safe and comfy and warm.

I flopped around a little, and hit someone’s nose. “Ow!”

The voice sounded vaguely familiar, but I couldn’t place it.

“Apollo?” the voice said. I made a small babbling noise in answer. “Guess you’re awake. Come on guys, get up! Apollo’s awake!” I heard rustling as people moved around. The boy who’d been talking picked me up as whoever was on the floor groaned and got up. Finally the boy who was holding me turned on a light, illuminating the room.

I was inside a cabin. Mattresses and blankets had been pulled from the beds onto the floor to form a cuddle-pile nest. In the nest blinking blearily up at me was a boy with sunshine-blond hair and blue eyes -  _Will_  - and a younger girl with ginger hair tinged with green. Her name came to mind quickly. “Kay’a!” I cried. But that means… I looked up. The boy who was holding me, the one who had woken up first, had black woven cornrows in his hair. “Au’tin!” I cried out, delighted.

I looked Austin and Kayla over, trying to find any injuries they might have had. But I couldn’t see any. Why had they been in the infirmary? I tried to ask. “Why in-for… in-for… Why in hurt place?”

“Hurt place… you mean the infirmary?” Will asked. I nodded. “They were helping the injured campers from the last battle.” Seeing the look of fear on my face, he hurried on, “Don’t worry, everyone survived and no one’s permanently injured, some people just need some extra rest. Like a certain son of Hades, who OVERUSED HIS POWERS AGAIN, and needs to stay and  _rest_.” Will looked quite annoyed at this point. I was glad his ire wasn’t directed at me.

A long period of silence followed. I could feel that there was something they wanted to ask, but were holding back for some reason. I began fidgeting. What was it? What was wrong?

Kayla broke the awkward silence. “I’m gonna take Apollo to Chiron. I know Chiron would love to see him, and it might bring back some memories.”

Chiron?

A memory - more of an impression, really - flashed past. Riding on a centaur’s back. Tutoring an inquisitive student. A calm, reassuring smile.

“Chi-on!” I cried out. Maybe he’d give me centaur-back rides!

Kayla stood up and started to reach for me, then hesitated. “Apollo? Do you think you can walk?”

I thought for a moment, torn. On the one hand, I didn’t want my family to think I was so vulnerable that I couldn’t even walk correctly. On the other hand, being carried sounded really appealing right about now…

“Wa’k,” I said. Something was bothering Kayla - was bothering ALL of them. Maybe if I showed her that I was mature, she’d tell me what it was.

We walked out of the cabin. The sky was filled with a myriad of pinks and oranges and yellows, with a tinge of dark blue-black on the horizon. Nighttime would arrive soon.

We walked slowly, Kayla matching her pace to mine. A few times she opened her mouth to speak, but then closed it again. Fine. If she wasn’t gonna tell me, then I’d ask.

“Why sca’ed?” 

Kayla stopped, looking confused. “I’m not scared.”

I knew “scared” was the wrong word, but I couldn’t think of the right one. I did the best I could with the words I had. “You quiet. Sca’ed. Want talk.”

“You noticed, huh?”

She bit her lip. “Will wanted to hold off on asking you. He didn’t want to overwhelm you. But I just… need to know. Dad, how much do you remember?”

I looked at her, lost. Dad? She seemed to be addressing me. But that made no sense. I couldn’t be her dad. ~~I’m not good enough, not strong enough. She deserved a better father than me~~.

“N-never mind,” she said, looking disappointed and a little ashamed. “Let’s just go to Chiron. Then we can go to the campfire! Austin’s leading the song circle today, and I KNOW you’ll like that.” 

Ooh, songs! Marshmallows! Wait, wait, can’t get off-track. Kayla needs me. Her question: what do I remember? Hmm. Not as much as I want to, but…

“You family,” I said resolutely. “Home. Family is home.” I teared up again.  _Home_. It was true. Leto, Artemis, Meg, Kayla, Austin, Will… they all cared for me.

“Home… I’m home.” I collapsed against Kayla’s leg, smiling and crying. She sat down on the grass and pulled me into her lap. I cuddled up against her. Her smile was soft and a little sad.

“Yeah… you’re home.” she murmured. I felt something wet fall onto my head. I looked up. Kayla was crying too, just a little. I pretended not to notice.

After a few minutes of sitting there, enjoying each other’s company, Kayla finally got up. I was reluctant, but I guess we needed to move on eventually. Why did eventually have to be NOW?

“Come on, Chiron’s expecting us. We don’t want people to think that something bad happened.” 

A flash of fire filled my vision, and terror seized my heart. I grabbed Kayla’s hand.  ~~She’s here, she’s alive, she’s safe, _she’s not burning_~~.

Kayla seemed to read my mind. “I’m not going anywhere, I won’t disappear again. Austin and I are _safe_ , thanks to you.”

Safe. They were safe. My family was safe. I breathed deeply, collecting myself, and nodded. Together, we crossed the river and entered the Big House.

Chiron was waiting for us inside, reading a book. He looked up as the door opened, his facing erupting into a grin. “Apollo! Kayla!” he called as he trotted over to us. “Glad to see you up! I was worried after what happened on Olympus. How are you holding up?”

I didn’t quite remember what happened on Olympus - not very well at any rate. but I knew how to answer Chiron’s question. “O-kay” I said carefully.

“I’ll let you two chat privately,” Kayla said, and walked out the door.

Chiron swished his tail, waiting for me to speak. I didn’t. He carried on.

“Leto and Artemis are staying in Artemis’s cabin, though I’m not sure whether Leto will stay there once Artemis’s Hunters arrive at camp. Meg’s also staying with them for now. I tried to get her to go to the Demeter Cabin, but… well, she just said that she didn’t feel like it right then and walked off.” 

I giggled. That sounded like Meg.

“Artemis said you came here for a reason though, beyond just wanting to see your children again. Something about Jason?”

“Remember,” I mumbled. “Gotta remember. Remember Jason. Need reminder.”

Chiron glanced at the pictures at his walls - of the greatest heroes he’d trained - and sighed. “Jason… he was a good kid. I’d hoped that after everything he’d been through, that he’d get to just… live out his life. But I knew it wouldn’t be that easy. Heroes so rarely live long…”

It struck me then. Chiron was immortal. He trained young demigods, who so infrequently lived to adulthood. He saw them die again and again and again. Yet he didn’t shy away. He embraced the mortals, tutored them, cared for them, treated them like his own children. How? How could he stand it?

I started crying again and hugged Chiron’s leg. “Hurts,” I mumbled. “Hurts so much.”

Chiron stroked my hair. “Yes,” he said tenderly, “I know. It always does. If it didn’t, I’d be worried. But it’s worth it, knowing them, caring for them. Even if it hurts in the end. I won’t say the pain goes away. You already know that’s not true. But… the pain can be precious as well. It’s proof that they lived, and that you cared. Proof that they MEANT something.” Chiron gazed around the room for a moment. “These walls are filled with some of the greatest heroes I’ve taught, the ones whose stories have been passed down through the ages, who history remember. But these aren’t the only reminders I keep. Come on. I have something to show you.”

Seeing my hopeful look, Chiron sighed and put me on his back as he trotted through the Big House, into his private quarters.

He took me into a large room, filled with hundreds, maybe thousands of items, covering every surface. Small machines that I’m certain Hephaestus’s children made, arrowheads, jewelry, and most of all, books. Rows upon rows of books, covering entire bookshelves. He went to one of the shelves and took one out, splaying it on a nearby table. I leaned over his shoulder, trying to get a good look.

It was a photo album, filled with hundreds of photos of young campers. some group photos of cabins, some individual shots.

Chiron smiled sadly as he went through the album. “I collect reminders too. Tangible proof that these children existed. That they mattered.” 

He flipped through the book, stopping on the photo of a teenage girl with black hair and blue eyes. “This is Silena Beauregard. She stayed with us for many summers, and was head counselor of the Aphrodite fountain. She was always kind and hated killing and inflicting pain, though she recognized it was sometimes necessary. Do you know she’s the reason Festus wasn’t destroyed? He was broken and a bit crazy after first being booted back up, and tried to kill her, Beckendorf, Percy, and Annabeth. But she insisted on disabling him temporarily instead of destroying him.”

He flipped to another page. My breath caught in my throat, and tears pricked at my eyes. Two teenage boys were standing together, quivers flung over their backs. Chiron noticed my gaze. “Michael Yew and Lee Fletcher. Your children. They were always keeping everyone’s spirits up, leading song circles and organizing games. Though they  _did_  tend to suggest archery be included in contests more often than it was warranted,” he chuckled.

I stared. I couldn’t remember them. They were my family, I knew that, but not a single memory floated into my mind.  _It’s because you hardly knew them_ , something whispered in my mind.  _You claimed them and sometimes helped them, but you barely knew them_.

I wasn’t entirely sure what that voice meant, but I felt like I  _should_. My gut twisted. I hadn’t done enough. I didn’t know what I hadn’t done enough  _of_ , but whatever it was, it wasn’t enough.

I held out a hand towards the picture. “Please,” I murmured in Chiron’s ear, almost choking on repressed sobs, “Please.”

Chiron removed the picture and handed it to me. I took it carefully, not wanting to damage this small, fragile reminder of the two lost souls. I studied it, staring at the faces of the boys as if by looking at them enough, I could bring them back to life and get to know them as I didn’t before.

“They will die,” Chiron said as he walked us back to the entranceway of the Big House. I still stared at the photo. “But at least we know they lived.”

Chiron dropped me off back at the Me Cabin. I still clutched the photo, though carefully. I would not damage this keepsake, this reminder. Kayla, Austin, and Will waited inside, cuddle nest still on the floor.

“So what did you guys talk about?” Austin asked. I showed him the photo. “Tell me,” I asked. “Who were they?”

And they did. I spent the rest of the evening listening to their stories about their brothers Michael and Lee, the times they messed up and the times they triumphed, the times they got angry, the times they were sad, and the times they glowed with joy. I smiled. They were not forgotten. And for a moment, it felt like they were still with us.


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks to garecc for betaing!

 

Week 1, Day 2

Artemis’s POV

“I need you to teach me stuff.”

I looked up, setting aside the arrow I had been whittling. I didn’t HAVE to make any arrows in such a crude way, I could simply wish them into existence if I so pleased, but it was nice to keep my hands busy. Plus I didn’t want to get out of practice. I needed to teach my new hunters many skills, and making arrows was one of them.

“What do you wish to learn?” I asked Meg.

She seemed to chew on the thought, humming a little to herself as she looked about the room, as if an answer would jump out from the walls. Finally, she seemed to settle on something, a determined look entering her eyes.

“I want to do what I said I’d so as Goddess of Redemption and Rebirth, but I don’t know how. I feel this weird pull, and I THINK it’s because I need to do something, but I don’t know what or how. I just know that people need me, and I want to help them. Also…” here she hesitated, shying away a bit, as if not wanting to say something, to admit something, but needing to anyway.

“I’ve been having some strange dreams. I’m inside this weird, gross body, except that the person whose body it is is ALSO inside with me. And I hear these cries for help, because that person ate and consumed more people, and those he ate are asking to be saved. Also there’s a lot of kittens mewing for some reason. It’s not a normal dream, but I don’t know what it means, and just… I want to help! They NEED my help! But I don’t know HOW or WHERE or WHAT or… or ANYTHING!” I could see tears glistening in Meg’s eyes as she cried out, but she didn’t allow them to fall.

A feeling of dread trickled from my heart down to my toes. I wasn’t sure what her dream meant, but some parts sounded familiar. Being inside a body, and having that body’s occupant be able to physically manifest inside their own body… that sounded like a Primordial God. There were only a few that made sense. Ouranous and Gaea had been scattered. While they COULD have come back, I doubted it. If they did, we had a MUCH bigger problem on our hands. For now, I was going to rule them out, until new information emerged. That left Pontos, Tartarus, and Chaos itself as likely candidates. Pontos hadn’t caused any trouble in millennia, and besides, Meg hadn’t mentioned it being particularly wet. Any being trapped inside of Chaos would have dissolved, so I doubted that it was the culprit. Which only left…

I took a deep breath, trying to school my features into a neutral expression. Best not to show fear and make Meg more nervous than she already was. Besides, I could be wrong. Surely she wouldn’t be called to battle against Tartarus itself when she had only just become a goddess? The Protogenoi were stronger than even the strongest Olympians. There was no guarantee she would survive such a battle, much less escape with Tartarus’s prisoners. No, that couldn’t be what her dream meant. It couldn’t.

_But it could_ , a traitorous part of me whispered.  _Apollo felt a pull to kill Python when he was just a few days old._

_Yes, and it nearly killed him!_  I yelled at myself (mentally. I had good self-control. I had to, in order to help my Hunters… my Sisters.)  _That can’t be what the dream means… I can’t wake up to find that Meg has disappeared to fight a being that could kill even an immortal, and only be able to wait, knowing that it’s too late to help if the worst has occurred… I can’t go through that again. And Mom! She just adopted Meg. To lose her after that… I don’t think a mother ever truly gets over losing their child._

I wouldn’t tell Meg what I suspect just yet. She might try to run off to Tartarus. She and Apollo were more similar than I suspected either of them would admit.

“You know what my dream means,” Meg suddenly interjected. I startled slightly. I’d been so deep in thought, I forgot that Meg was right in front of me, watching my face as I had the mental discussion with myself.

I looked her in the eyes. I wouldn’t lie to her, but that didn’t mean I had to tell her everything either. “I have my suspicions. I know nothing for sure, however. And I do not wish to speculate when my fears may be unfounded.”

I stood up. “Regardless of what it means, I think it would serve well for me to teach you. You are already a fine swordswoman. You know how to fight as a mortal very well. Valuable skills, as too many gods become dependent solely on their power, and become too cocky. But you must also learn to tap your divine nature, learn to fight as both gods and mortals do, so you can unleash your full power.”

I concentrated for a moment and changed shape, morphing into a copy of one of my hunting dogs.

“Transformation is one of the more underrated common godly powers,” I told Meg, speaking aloud but not bothering to move my dog mouth. “It’s not much use for brute force - not for a god - but it can be used to outwit an opponent. And for all a god’s raw power, it is not much use against an intelligent opponent with the right preparation.”

If Meg was going to fight against an opponent as powerful as a Primordial God, she would need to be taught well, and quickly. I would try to keep her safe as long as I could, but I would not smother her. The best way to keep her safe would be to teach her and support her, so she could survive anything the world threw at her. That was why I took in so many young women, even though the work I and my Sisters did was dangerous. The world was filled with danger. I would teach Meg to be even more dangerous. I would not lose her, as I lost so many others.

We practiced late into the night. Meg had trouble with larger forms, favoring the small and quick. She soon excelled at switching between such forms smoothly and naturally. She favored the form of a housecat most of all. I approved. They were small, vicious hunters, and very lithe and flexible, which I had a feeling would be invaluable in a fight against a much larger foe. They were also quite stealthy, so perhaps Meg could get away without fighting at all.

When the pull became too great, and Meg answered the call, I would ensure she was ready. I just hoped that I would have taught her enough.


	4. Chapter 4

Thanks to garecc for betaing!  
  


Week 0, Day 0

Thalia’s POV

I received the dream the night after the battle on Mount Olympus.

I and the other Hunters had been pretty confused initially when Artemis teleported away, the newly resurrected Meg tagging along with her. That look on Lady Artemis’s face when she rushed over to Meg, as she held the green bundle… I wasn’t able to see exactly what was going on, but I knew that something WONDERFUL had occurred.

With Artemis gone, I couldn’t ponder what had happened for very long. She was counting on me to look after her Hunters in her stead. We all swiftly disembarked from Mt. Olympus, filling up the elevators several times. I did NOT want us to get caught up in the gods’ squabbling as they tried to figure out what to do, with Zeus gone, Apollo… maybe alive? Somehow? I wasn’t clear on the details, but nothing else could have made Artemis so happy after she’d just heard that he had died. I know better than most how painful it is to hear that your little brother, your baby brother, is DEAD. That you failed them. That you WEREN’T THERE.

“Thalia?” one of the Hunters, Camila, asked hesitantly. She was a new addition. We’d found her a few months ago crying in a shed, bruises coloring her skin from where her captor had beaten her. She was only fourteen, yet had endured her family’s death by gang violence, crossing the border into the U.S. to try to find SOME sort of life for herself, some sort of HOPE… only to discover that the people who had brought her over, only wanted to use her and abuse her.

We’d taken down that entire ring of human traffickers. That filth was worse than the most crazed of beasts.

“Are you OK?” she questioned, concerned. I looked down. My hands were trembling slightly, and I could feel my eyes watering and my nose starting to run. I turned away. I needed to be the strong, fearless leader. I couldn’t afford to break down now, not yet. I had to be in control. When I’d first found out that he’d died on Apollo’s quest…

I shoved that memory out of my mind. Regrets would do no good now. Focus on the problem at hand. Many of my Hunters had been injured, but none too badly. They’d be well enough to travel tomorrow.

“I’ve heard reports that poachers are hunting down the few wild Monokerata that are left. It’s our job to protect them. We’ll rest today, and start making our way to the Monokerata habitat at dawn tomorrow.”

Several Hunters murmured angrily at that. Everyone loved the Monokerata - known more commonly these days as Unicorns. To hear that someone would harm them… well, I doubted that they would get out of this alive.

I retired to my tent a few hours later. It had been a long day, and I needed sleep.

Artemis contacted me that night in my dreams.

She was holding a tiny baby with golden curls. My heart constricted. I remembered when mother had brought Jason home from the hospital. This baby looked just like him.

Artemis looked up at me. She spoke psychically, not moving her mouth, presumably so she didn’t wake the infant.

“Thalia, I’m sorry I was unable to talk with you after everything that happened. I wanted to get Apollo out of there as quickly as I could, to a safe place for him, far away from any who might hurt him. And I REALLY didn’t want him to get caught up in the other Olympians’ squabbles.”

“So that’s Apollo?” I asked, waving at the baby. I had suspected as much, but it was another thing to have it confirmed. Gods could appear as anything they wanted, but I’d never seen a god CHOOSE to appear that young. Then again, I was pretty sure it wasn’t a choice…

“What happened to him? Zeus said Apollo died! Did he come back from the dead somehow? Come to think of it, how did Meg come back?”

“Apollo DID die. Fortunately, he and Meg shared a mental bond, similar to the empathy bonds that satyrs sometimes form. Unlike those bonds, when one of them died, instead of the other person dying from the shock, Meg kept his soul alive and together instead. Remember how Kronos possessed Luke? Meg basically enforced a far, FAR milder version of that in order to keep Apollo together and help him heal.”

I tensed at the comparison. Anything that was comparable to what Kronos did to Luke sounded like bad news to me. Artemis noticed my guarded expression.

“Don’t worry, he would never have been able to possess her. Nor would he have been willing to harm her. Truthfully it’s more similar to the partnerships that Egyptian Magicians have with their gods, I just didn’t use that comparison because you haven’t met any Magicians yet. Meg would not have been harmed, even if he had remained inside her. Apollo’s power is far less corrosive than Kronos’s.”

I sighed in relief. I should have known it was okay. Apollo would NEVER have harmed Meg, even unconsciously. I had seen how much he cared for her when I met up with them at Camp Jupiter.

I buried the thought. Concentrate on Artemis. Thinking about Jason would NOT help anything.

“So what happened after that?” I prompted. “I understand why he’s not in the Underworld, but he and Meg should still be dead. And how did Meg make Zeus vanish? Making giant angry asshole gods disappear is NOT a Demeter power.”

Artemis smirked, her eyes glowing silver with mirth. “Meg was always strong - stronger than even I had suspected. After reincarnating the Meliai, an impressive feat in and of itself, she became MORE than a demigod. Her natural power, paired with her small amount of exposure to Apollo’s divine essence, and most importantly, her being worshiped by the nature spirits of Southern California, slowly transformed her into a god, similarly to how Dionysus transformed from demigod to god. Zeus incinerating her physical body completed the process. As Apollo’s essence was connected to her soul, she was able to drag Apollo back with her. His essence is tiny and weak at the moment, however. He’s stable, but we’re not sure how much of his memory and powers he has retained. But at least he’s alive,” she finished off, smiling softly at the sleeping baby Apollo.

Pangs of jealousy shot through my heart. She got her little brother back. She got to hold him safely in her arms. I would NEVER get that experience again, NEVER. I’d had such a short time with Jason before he was ripped away and seemingly killed. Even when I got him back, there was so much going on, I barely got to see him.

When communication went out, I was worried. I asked Apollo to check up on him while he was in the area, since I had to continue the Hunt. But he did more than that. He involved my little brother, my baby brother on his quest.

Apollo survived. Jason didn’t.

Don’t get me wrong, I know  _now_  that it wasn’t Apollo’s fault. Jason knew what was going to happen. He made his choice. He’d rather die than allow his friends to be killed, I KNOW that.

But feelings aren’t rational. They don’t quietly go away when reasoned with. Reason just makes them easier to suppress.

And right now, I was trying VERY hard to use reason to tamp down on my jealousy and sorrow. It wasn’t fair that Apollo and Meg got to come back when Jason didn’t. It just WASN’T. It wasn’t fair they survived while Jason was scattered ash. But it wasn’t their fault. It WASN’T.

It wasn’t mine either ( _I should have protected him. I was his older sister. I should have been there_.)

Maybe one day I would even believe that.

“I’m glad that your little brother survived,” I muttered, trying desperately to keep the bitterness out of my voice.

Evidently I hadn’t succeeded. Artemis’s face turned somber.

“Thalia…” she began. She seemed to be desperately searching for words.

She seemed to give up a moment later, her shoulders slumping.

“I… I’ll talk to you later. Once Apollo is slightly less vulnerable. Just… please. Stay safe.”

The vision faded. I woke up with tears stinging at the corner of eyes. Alone, safely in the privacy of my personal tent, I cried for my baby brother.

0 - o - 0

Week 2, Day 0

Thalia’s POV

I received the summons a week after the battle. Artemis didn’t go into much detail. She simply stated that she, Meg, Apollo, and Leto were waiting for us at Camp Half-Blood… and to prepare for a memorial for Jason.

It took an entire week for us to reach Camp. We were on the other side of the country and kept on running into wild beasts to hunt. Truthfully, we could have made better time. I may have slowed us down a little, insisting on longer breaks than were necessary, or hunting beasts that weren’t immediate threats. I think some of the other Hunters noticed, but if so, they said nothing.

I knew that delaying wouldn’t solve anything. I had to go eventually. But every time I thought of Jason, I just wanted to shut down. I had pretended he didn’t exist for half my life, since Hera sent the wolves for Jason, leaving me to believe he was dead. I couldn’t do that this time. I WOULDN’T do that this time. Jason deserved to be remembered. My wonderful, brave, rash little brother deserved this memorial, to be remembered by EVERYONE.

Jason’s memorial wasn’t the ONLY reason for my apprehension. Apollo… he’d be at Camp. Seeing him in a vision while he was sleeping was one thing, but in person…?

My feelings towards Apollo were… complicated. I was bitter that he survived instead of my brother. His appearance was too similar to my brother’s to escape thinking of my baby brother… and how he was gone. But there was also an undercurrent of guilt. I hadn’t exactly been welcoming to Apollo when we met up again.

( _some months ago_ )

We’d finally subdued the Teumessian fox. It had been a hard battle, but we’d chased it into Tartarus eventually. Just because the fox couldn’t be CAUGHT, didn’t mean it couldn’t be NEUTRALIZED. Portals to Tartarus are more common than you’d expect, thankfully.

We headed to Camp Jupiter. Hopefully, the Romans were able to hold off the attack Trophonious’s prophecy had told of. It would have already occurred by now, but perhaps we could help with the aftermath. With the newfound cooperation between Greeks and Romans, Hunters of Artemis were welcome in New Rome. I’d hoped to run into Annabeth and Percy as well since they were going to New Rome for college. At the very least, I’d get to talk to Reyna again. It’s a pity that girl didn’t want to be a Hunter. Anyone who could take me down while restrained was someone I wanted by my side.

We approached the Camp boundaries. Even from a distance, I could tell it had taken a beating. The walls surrounding the camp were burnt and crumbling in places. There were even gaps in the wall - unheard of for Romans. They were great builders and architects. For them to have not repaired the damage yet meant that either whatever had caused it had occurred VERY recently, they had higher priorities than repairing the walls, or that there weren’t enough resources or manpower to do so. Worst of all, it could be a mix of the three.

I attempted to calm myself. No point working myself up until I knew exactly what had happened. Maybe it wasn’t so bad.

I didn’t believe that.

At least Jason wouldn’t be among the casualties. He was many, many miles away at a boarding school. My little brother was safe. Though I still hadn’t heard from him…

I pushed that thought away. Communications were down. Not hearing from him was expected. Apollo would likely have visited Jason, he’d tell me how he was doing and soothe the nagging feeling in the back of my head.

We approached the gates. The sentry tensed. “Who are you?” He called. “State your business!”

This guard didn’t recognize us Hunters, which meant he was probably new. Come to think of it, he seemed rather young… why was an inexperienced recruit on duty when an attack seemed to have just occurred?

Fear curdled in my stomach. How shorthanded were they?

“We are the Hunters of Artemis,” I announced. “I am Artemis’s lieutenant, Thalia Grace. I need to speak with Reyna.”

The boy hesitated for a moment, but then left his post, presumably to retrieve Reyna. That was generally a bad call, leaving the gates unguarded, but it didn’t look like they had much of a choice. Again I wondered: what had happened here?

Reyna appeared on the watchtower a few minutes later. She glanced at us, then climbed down and opened the gates.

Reyna had seen better days. Bruises, cuts, and burns littered her body. She looked unkempt and exhausted, as if she hadn’t had a full night’s sleep in weeks. Her eyes were haunted, but the steely glint of determination still shone within them. Her eyes widened when she saw me, her face turning somber. Something cold trickled down my back. Why would looking at me cause her to become more depressed than she already seemed to be? I’d expect her to be glad to have more help, with the state things were in.

Unless something had happened to my friends. Annabeth. Percy. They were heading to New Rome. Could something have…?

I blurted out quickly, dreading having my suspicions confirmed, but needing to know, “Annabeth, Percy… are they alright?”

She nodded, her face not changing expression. “They arrived just a few hours ago. They’re resting in one of our spare tents right now .”

I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding. They were fine. Anything else she had to tell me couldn’t possibly be as bad as their deaths would be… right?

I told myself that, but didn’t ask what WAS wrong. At the time I told myself that Reyna was simply sad about her fellow soldier’s death, that I’d been imagining it when she grew sadder upon seeing me. Now I can admit that I had suspected that something worse was coming. If I didn’t ask, then maybe nothing would be wrong. As soon as I asked, I wouldn’t be able to pretend things were alright. It’s a stupid philosophy, I know, but it got me through Jason’s death the first time. I’d simply pretended he’d never existed. That I’d always been an only child.

She looked at me as if expecting me to ask something. I didn’t. Finally, Reyna sighed. “Come. I have something to tell you. I think it would be best if you reunited with your friends first, before hearing the bad news.”

My dread increased. There was no doubt now; something truly terrible had happened, something that would devastate me personally. But I had no clue what it could be.

She escorted us through camp. Everywhere I looked I saw injured campers and devastation. Many buildings were heavily damaged by cannonballs, walls collapsing, bricks strewn about the ground. It’s a testament to Roman engineering that most of the structures hadn’t completely collapsed.

There were fewer legionnaires around than usual, and those that were up didn’t appear to be in much better shape than Reyna. Several were puffy around the eyes, as if they’d been crying.

Reyna escorted me to a large tent and opened the flap. Percy and Annabeth were sitting on a bed inside, holding each other, their faces streaked with tears.

It took them a minute to notice me. Annabeth saw me first. “Thalia…” she gasped, and collapsed into tears. I hugged her close to me, stroking her hair like I used to, back when it was just me, her, and Luke against the world, when she was a young child running from monsters. She may be older than me now, but I’d always comfort her when she needs it.

Percy looked up at Reyna. “Does she know?” he asked, his voice dead.

She shook her head. “Not yet. I want her to be here, with her friends, to hear the news.”

My heart froze. I could feel the air thicken with tension. The next few words would change my world.

But I couldn’t pretend forever. I had to know. “What happened?” I asked in a low voice. “Why are you crying? What happened that was so terrible, you had to wait until now to tell me?”

Reyna looked straight at me, her eyes swimming with tears, and uttered the words that would shatter my world. “Jason is dead.”

My vision blurred as I collapsed. On some level, I had expected it. That did not lessen the pain. Distantly I could hear Annabeth calling my name, stroking my hair, trying to return some semblance of the comfort I had given her. But all I could think was

Jason is dead.

He’s dead.

My little brother is dead.

He’s dead again.

And this time he’s not coming back.

I screamed. The guttural howl reverberated throughout camp. I was sure that everyone could hear my anguish, but I didn’t care. Nothing mattered. Not then.

I screamed until my throat was hoarse and raw. Choking on my sobs, I gasped out a question. “What happened?”

Reyna hesitated, reluctant. “I wasn’t there. I only know what I was told.”

“Just TELL ME!” I screamed, the air crackling with electricity, wind starting to blow inside the tent.

Reyna spoke slowly and clearly, so she would not have to say any of it twice. “Jason received a prophecy many months ago. It stated that if he and Piper went after the emperor Caligula, one of them would die. He decided that he couldn’t stand aside and let Caligula do what he wanted, nor could he allow Piper to die. He decided that he would be the one to die. When Apollo asked for his help fighting against Caligula, he accepted. He died fighting Caligula, holding him off long enough for Apollo, Meg, and Piper to escape.”

Of course.

Of COURSE, Apollo involved Jason in his quest. OF COURSE, Jason gave his life to save them. That was just the kind of stupid, heroic thing he’d do.

Caligula.

My blood boiled.

Was he still alive?

“Is Caligula dead?” I growled, my voice low and rough.

“Not yet,” Reyna replied, her voice determined and deadly.

“He launched an attack on camp a few hours after Apollo and Meg arrived with… “ Reyna stumbled on her words for a moment, “with Jason’s body. We didn’t even have time for a funeral before Caligula attacked a second time. His body is in the Fifth Cohort’s barracks. Would… would you like to see him?”

“Yes.” I croaked.

Reyna escorted me once again. We didn’t have far to travel, but each step seemed to stretch into eternity.

“I’ll let you have some privacy,” she spoke softly and walked back towards the tent we came from.

I opened the door to the barracks.

There he was.

My little brother. Dead in his bed. I could almost pretend he was sleeping, if not for the pallor to his skin.

Beside him sat a boy with curly brown hair. A young girl sat a few bunks away, fiddling with a belt. They looked up as I entered.

That boy… Apollo.

Apollo.

Apollo was here.

Apollo, who I had asked to check on my brother.

Apollo, who had involved Jason in his quest.

Apollo, who had lived while Jason had died.

Did he even care?

Did it matter to him at all?

The gods watched us die. Sometimes they killed us themselves. They expected us to sacrifice our lives again and again, while they just WATCHED. They would NEVER do what Jason had done.

_Except for Artemis_ , a tiny voice whispered in my head.  _She trapped herself to save Annabeth._

I ignored it. Artemis was the exception, not the rule. I remembered all those years ago when Luke and I had been on the run together. We had entered a mansion, becoming trapped in it. But we had not been the only occupants. Halcyon Green, one of Apollo’s sons, had been confined there for decades. Apollo had cursed him for the crime of saving a young girl who wasn’t supposed to live. His punishment? Being trapped in his own home for decades, his voice stolen, used to lure in young demigods to die. How many demigods, how many CHILDREN had died before us? Did any of them care?

Apollo had been responsible for it all.

He was the worst of them all.

How DARE he be here?! How dare he even LOOK at Jason, after he’d gotten him killed?!

I let out an animalistic yell as I launched myself at Apollo.

“WHY. IS. MY. BROTHER. DEAD.” I screamed, lifting Apollo into the air and slamming him into the nearby wall. The air crackled with electricity, small bursts running down my arms and into Apollo’s body. He shuddered as he was slammed with wave after wave, convulsing, unable to leave my grasp. He made a soft choking noise as he stared back at me, terrified.

“GET OFF OF HIM!” I heard from my right. Golden scimitars flashed into existence as a small figure clad in green slammed into me, breaking my grasp, freeing Apollo. Meg interposed herself between me and my prey.

She glared up at me, the rhinestones on her glasses blazing. “He TRIED to save Jason! He risked his own life to try to get Jason home safely!”

I scoffed. “Risked his own life? Yeah, right. Gods don’t care about mortals’ lives. They’ve proven that again and again. Jason would be alive otherwise!”

“He did. He stabbed himself through the chest with his OWN ARROW to give Meg, Piper, and Jason a chance to escape!”

I let out a broken laugh. “Really? And how did THAT work out?”

“HE. TRIED.” She screamed.

Apollo spoke up, his voice softly cutting through the air, “If you want to hurt me… please. Just leave Meg out of it. I won’t fight back if you do that.”

“APOLLO!” Meg cried out, twisting around to face Apollo, aghast.

He just continued to look at me, resigned. Accepting whatever I would do to him.

The anger drained out of me. “You mean that,” I whispered. “You really mean that.”

Apollo just continued staring at me determinedly, though his whole body shook. He would accept whatever I would do to him, so long as his young friend wasn’t harmed.

I collapsed on the nearest bed. Hurting Apollo would not help anything. Jason would still be dead.

“Leave,.” I whispered hoarsely. “Leave me with my brother. And don’t come back.”

Apollo looked like he’d been slapped. He left without a word, Meg trailing after him.

I waited a moment, then another. I picked up a pillow and screamed into it.

I cried myself to sleep soon after.

_(present_ )

I’d calmed down after a few days had passed. It wasn’t Apollo’s fault. My brother had made his choice, Apollo hadn’t chosen for him. Caligula was to blame, not him.

I still didn’t want to see Apollo. I felt bad that I’d attacked him, lashed out at him when he didn’t deserve it. But a part of me still blamed him for Jason’s death, even then.

When Reyna had requested the Hunters’ help in the final battle against Python and the Triumvirate, I’d agreed immediately. But I hadn’t approached Apollo when I saw him in the lead up to the fight. I saw him looking at me one time as if wanting to talk to me. I’d purposely turned away. It was safest not to interact with him. I hadn’t been sure how I would react if we started talking again.

When everyone was teleported to Mount Olympus and Zeus declared that Apollo had died, I didn’t know WHAT to think. I was still kinda pissed at him, but felt guilty for feeling pissed. Whatever my feelings, he didn’t deserve to die.

I didn’t have long to stew over my thoughts, since things got VERY hectic VERY quickly.

Now though… now I’d had time to think. I didn’t know exactly what state Apollo would be in when I saw him at Camp Half-blood, whether he’d regained more of his memories, whether he remembered Jason… and whether he remembered our fight. Though, I suppose it couldn’t really be called a fight. The other person has to fight back for that…

I shook off the thought and took a deep breath. We would arrive at camp within the hour. I needed to be ready.

——————————————————————————————————–

We arrived at camp as the sun peeked over the horizon. As we descended Half-Blood Hill to enter camp, I stared at my pine tree. I had held off Hades’ minions to give Luke and Annabeth time to escape and had died as a result. Or I would have, if Zeus hadn’t transformed me into a tree at the last minute.

I had survived my last stand.

Jason hadn’t survived his.

We made our way to Artemis’s cabin. A golden doe was watching a small grey tabby cat run around near the front entrance, climbing trees, jumping, and generally expending energy.

That doe… I took a closer look at her. She turned her head to face me, staring at me with cold silver eyes.

Ah. Artemis had decided to shapeshift into a deer for some reason. But why? And where did the cat come from?

Artemis turned back into her usual form of a twelve-year-old girl. “Thalia!” she greeted me. “I’ve been waiting for you. We need to discuss certain arrangements for your brother.”

Just then the small cat - more of a kitten, really, looking more closely at it - performed some impressive acrobatics off a nearby tree, leaping off a branch that was 15 feet off the ground onto a tree trunk, then jumping off of THAT trunk to ping-pong to a different trunk, just farther down, like a wall jump in a platformer game, except going downwards instead of upwards. On that jump, the kitten catapulted itself towards us, landing at our feet, standing proudly.

Artemis beamed at the kitten. “That was an excellent show of maneuverability, Meg!” she congratulated.

Wait… MEG?

The kitten glowed. A second later a small twelve-year-old girl had taken its place.

I blinked in surprise. I knew intellectually that Meg was a goddess now, but somehow I hadn’t thought about what all that meant. Like that she had shapeshifting powers now.

But why a kitten?

Meg noticed my quizzical look and explained. “Artemis is training me to use my divine powers better. Transformation can be really useful for stealth and moving around, plus it can be harder to hit a small target. I’ve tried other forms, but so far I’ve been most comfortable as a cat, so I’m practicing as that before trying to master other forms. I’ve still TRIED other forms though. Still, haven’t found a bird I’m comfortable with…” she muttered.

I stared for a moment, unsure what to say to that. Artemis broke the silence.

“Meg, could you fetch Apollo, please? I need to update Thalia on the plans for Jason’s memorial.

“Sure,” Meg said, and walked off to the nearby Apollo cabin.

Artemis turned to me. “Apollo wanted a memorial for Jason, something to let campers know who he was and what he did… and, I suspect, as a reminder to himself of what Jason meant to him. He had an idea for what it should be, but I wanted to run it by you first. You’re his sibling, you ought to have a say.”

She turned and stared at Half-blood hill, and at my tree in the distance. Even this far away, I could see the faint glow from the Golden Fleece which had set me free all those years ago.

“Apollo wanted a memorial near your tree. It seemed fitting, to have the two of you together. and he wanted it to have the last word Jason said, the thing that Jason drilled into his head - ‘Remember’“

That seemed like a good idea, but it needed more details. What would Jason want?

And I had it.

“I like that idea,” I spoke slowly, “but there needs to be more. Jason’s not the only one to have died, and he’d have HATED to be the only one remembered when other people deserve it too. Build the memorial. Make a plaque for Jason, telling who he was and why he died. But make it for MORE than just Jason. Surround it with the names of all the others who have died before their time, who died bravely - Greek, Roman, nymph, even machine if they have a soul. Make sure that all their sacrifices are recognized.”

Artemis smiled at me proudly. “That seems like a fine addition, Thalia.”

Meg rounded the corner just then, Apollo following close behind. I nearly gasped. With his blond hair and sky-blue eyes, he could’ve been mistaken for a two-year-old Jason - the age I lost him at the first time.

Apollo flinched when he saw me, retreating slightly. I winced. I’d felt kinda bad about hurting Apollo and yelling at him when he looked sixteen, but now? I felt pretty horrible. This child, who looked so much like my little brother, was scared of me - and for good reason.

Artemis noticed Apollo’s reaction and gave me a hard look. I couldn’t meet her eyes.

She turned to Apollo, shooting me a warning glare, as if saying  _I don’t know what you did, but if you hurt him, I’ll turn you into a jackalope._

She told Apollo my idea, to have the memorial be for everyone who dies, who deserves to be remembered. Apollo teared up a little at that, making a request, “Can we put Heloise, Money Maker, and Crest on the memorial too?”

I didn’t know who those people were - Money Maker, in particular, seemed like a VERY strange name - but they clearly meant a lot to him.

“They deserve to be remembered,” I announced somberly. “I’m sure Jason would like that.”

Apollo smiled as he started crying, tears running down his cheeks. He stepped towards me, looking like he was about to give me a hug - and then thought better of it, and stopped.

I needed to lay this to rest.

“I’m sorry,” I apologized. “I shouldn’t have yelled at you before, about Jason’s death. And I shouldn’t have hurt you,” at that, I heard a small hiss from Artemis, but I continued onwards. I’d take whatever punishment she deemed fit later. Apollo was my focus right now. “I was furious and wanted to hurt anyone or anything I could. That doesn’t excuse what I did. You were hurting too, I should have seen that. I DID see that but didn’t want to believe it. I needed someone to blame, and you were convenient. You didn’t deserve it. And I was wrong. You do care.”

Apollo stared at me, unbelieving. Then he surged forwards and wrapped his little arms around my leg, which was as high up as he could reach.

Meg escorted Apollo back to his cabin. Artemis waited until they were out of earshot, then confronted me. “You will not hurt Apollo again,” she stated coldly. It was a statement of fact, rather than a threat. She would not allow her little brother to be harmed, not now that she had the power to stop it.

That was fine with me. I had no intention of doing so.

She changed tone. “We’ll have the memorial service in three days time. That will be plenty of time for the Hephaestus cabin to craft the plaques and build the wall to record the fallen’s names on.”

Those three days passed quickly. Apollo no longer appeared nervous around me, though he didn’t seek me out much either.

On the morning of the third day, the entire camp assembled on Half-blood Hill. The Hephaestus cabin had installed the plaques and the memorial wall overnight. Jason Grace, Crest, Heloise, and Money Maker’s names were carved into the wall, as those of us who knew Jason best swapped stories. My rendition of how EXACTLY Jason had gotten that scar on his upper lip was extremely popular.

I heard a new name for the hill, in the snatches of conversation I caught at dinner. “Grace Hill.”

I smiled. I used to despise that last name because it reminded me of my mother, but now it meant something different. It connected me to my brother. It declared proudly that Jason had been my brother, my fantastic little brother.

Smiling, I decided that the name “Grace” wasn’t so bad after all.


	5. Chapter 5

Day 0, Week 3

Apollo’s POV

I’m boooored. Camp’s great, but there’s no one my age here! Well, no one who’s my CURRENT age anyway. Apparently I used to be a lot bigger? I don’t really understand what’s going on with that. It has to do with everyone… everyone I lost. And how Will, Kayla, and Austin are my family. They’re my  ~~children~~.

My mind went staticky for a moment. Guess I still can’t think of that.

I’m not worried though. I’ll remember what’s going on eventually. I know I will. My memories are getting clearer every day.

But for now, I have NOTHING to do! Will’s off with his boyfriend and Kayla’s at target practice, leaving Austin to look after me. Which is fine, but he just wants to read. I wanna play!

Maybe I should sneak out?

_My sister’s face fills my vision.  “Oh baby bro~ther, you are in so~ much trouble,” she sing-songs evilly._

NOPE.  

Which means I have to figure out what to do that DOESN’T involve sneaking out.      

“Austin, I’m boooored,” I whined. If I can’t figure out what to do, maybe he can?

“Have you figured out what you want to do yet, or are you just complaining in the hopes that I can figure out something to do for you like the last five times you said that?” he asked, not looking up from his book.

I grumbled incoherently.

He set the book down. “How about I set you up on a play date with some other kids?”

I perked up. Other kids? I didn’t think there was anyone around who was nearly as young as I was! 

Austin noticed my questioning look. “There aren’t any demigods around here that are your age - the youngest was Harley, and he’s nine so that’s still quite an age gap, plus he’s been visiting Camp Jupiter for the past several weeks anyway - but there are some other kids around.”

“Where?” I asked excitedly, peering around the room in the hopes that they’s mysteriously materialize. (That happened a lot actually. Will had recently cleared Nico of his shadow-traveling restrictions. Nico had promptly decided that doors were for losers. Or maybe he just liked startling me.)

“Satyr school’s back in session,” Austin explained. “Little satyrs from all over the country are coming back here for the new semester - including some around your age. Well, your physical and mental age anyway. Maybe we could stop over there and see whether you can make some new friends?”

Oh, of course! Satyrs are great! I don’t remember much about them really,  but I know they love music. I love music too! This’ll be great!

“Let’s go, let’s go!” I jumped up, pulling on Austin’s arm. 

“Ok, ok,” he laughed, putting a bookmark in his book and carefully setting it down on his bunk. 

* * *

 

I piggybacked on Austin all the way to the satyr school. I mean, I COULD have walked, but why WOULD I?

As we got closer to the satyr school I spotted several young satyrs milling around. The oldest among them looked around twenty, nearly ready to graduate. But the youngest…

I grinned as I spotted a group of six-to-ten-year-old satyrs practicing on their pan pipes -  very poorly, but everyone has to start SOMEWHERE.

Austin headed towards them, with me peeking over his shoulders. I’m glad he got a haircut recently, or I wouldn’t be able to see a thing.’

Austin gently set me down and I ran towards the little satyrs. “Hey! Can I join in?”

The three of them looked towards me, blinking. I guessed they’d only expected to see satyr children, so I was a bit of a surprise.

After a moment one of them shrugged. “Sure. We don’t have long though, class starts in a few minutes. We’re practicing our music, but it’s not going too well.”

“Can I help?” I asked, eager to show off my musical skill. If I could help other people while doing it, even better!

The same satyr looked back at me doubtfully. “Only if you can play the pan pipes. I’ve been trying to play this little song, but my fingers always end up in the wrong place. See?”

He played a few notes. Everything SEEMED to be going well at first, but near the end his fingers kinda collided and blocked each other. 

Hmm. I think I can help with this!

“Can you repeat that?” I asked.

He looked at me quizzically, but nodded. He repeated the song while I watched, keeping an eye on hi hand movements. Aaaand… there!

“I’ve got it!” I shouted. The satyr jumped a little. 

“If you just move your fingers like so, and adjust your grip like this…” I said as I maneuvered his hand into the correct position and showed him how to move it, “…then you should be able to play it all the way through!”

He looked at me doubtfully, but tried it. As he got farther and farther into the song, his eyes widened in joy and wonder.

When he finished without a single mistake, he took the pipes from his lips and looked at me in awe. “How did you DO that? I’ve been practicing for weeks, but I couldn’t get past that bit no matter how hard I tried.”

I laughed humbly, secretly pleased by the praise. “I’m kinda an expert in music, and it’s fun to teach others. I’d love to help more if you need it! Or just hang out, I’m bored.”

“Yeah! I’d love to,” the satyr smiled back. “But I don’t think- “

The bell rang and all the satyrs started heading inside.

“-that there’s time right now,” the satyr finished, disappointed. “I’ll be free after class though.”

“Awesome!” I cheered. I’d already made a new friend! “I’ll meet you here after class then.”

The satyr smiled and turned to head inside, but paused. “Oh yeah, my name’s Birk. What’s yours?”

“Nice to meet you Birk! I’m Apollo!” I chirped.

Birk’s eyes widened. He swiftly turned around and ran inside as fast as his feet could take him.

I frowned. Was he that eager to start school, or… no. Something was strange. He’d almost looked… afraid, when he heard my name.

But why?

I walked back over to where Austin was standing. He smiled, having watched the whole exchange. “You have a new friend, huh?”

I was about to say yes, but I hesitated. I’d THOUGHT we were friends, but. But. That look. That wasn’t the kind of look you’d give to a friend. It’s the kind of look I’d have when I thought about Python.

Why would Birk look that way at me?

“I… think so?” I answered.

Austin frowned. “You two looked like you were getting on well. What’s the problem?”

“I thought we WERE! We even made plans to meet up here after he’s done with school for the day. But then I told him my name and he ran. He almost looked scared, and I don’t know why.”

Austin seemed deep in thought. His eyes widened slightly. “…Oh.”

“What is it? Did you figure out why he acted like that?” I asked eagerly. If I knew why Birk looked scared, maybe I could fix it! I didn’t want my new friend to be scared of me.

Austin looked away. “I- I could be wrong. Let’s wait until you see your friend again. It could be for a silly reason.”

I didn’t think it was for a silly reason. I didn’t think Austin thought it was for a silly reason either. But I went along with it. “…Ok.”

We headed back to the Me cabin. I sent a few furtive looks back at the schoolhouse. Whatever the problem was, I hope I can fix it. I don’t want to lose my new friend after just having made one!

* * *

 

We headed back over to the schoolhouse. I elected to walk this time, clutching Austin’s sleeve nervously. 

The school bell rang. Satyrs streamed out. I kept my eyes out for my friend (?). 

After a few moments I spotted him, nearly concealed by a crowd of older satyrs.

“Birk!” I cried out, running towards him. 

He flinched and looked away, seeming to search for an escape route. 

I slowed down. He really DID seem to want to get away from me. 

But why?

If he didn’t want to be friends anymore, fine. But I needed to know why. Otherwise I’d always wonder if I could’ve salvaged our friendship.

I reached him before he could leave. He froze, looking like he wanted to be ANYWHERE but here.

I faked a smile and tried to look as friendly and non-frightening as possible. “You… want to practice some more?”

“Uh- uh- uh- I- I have somewhere else I need to go! Not that I’d ever ditch you ifyoureallywantmetogoIwillpleasedon’tflayme,” he said in a rush, looking progressively more and more scared.

I blinked, attempting to process that sentence. He… thought I might flay him? What was flaying?

_Burning wrists and ankles. Molten tiles moving around underneath my skin, rearranging my essence until I was no longer me. Enormous, excruciating, unbearable pain. And the small whisper, “The world doesn’t need you…”_

I shuddered. He thought I was gonna do THAT to him?!

“Why would I- why would you think- I would NEVER do that to you! Ever! Why do you think I would?!”

“You’ve done it before,” he stated quietly.

WHAT

“I’ve… what?” I whispered hoarsely.

Birk looked back at me, seeming a little more sure of himself. “Flaying. You’ve done it before.”

“Wh-why? Why would I do that? To ANYONE?”

Birk looked less scared now, and more puzzled. “You don’t remember?”

I shook my head. “I’m not totally sure of what happened, but I lost all my memories and became a baby. I’m getting my memories back and am growing quickly, but I’m still missing a LOT.”

“Oh.” Birk bit his lip. “Well we’re - us satyrs - we’re told stories about the gods. You in particular. It’s to warn us to never, EVER brag in front of a god, or claim to possibly as good or better than one at anything.”

My heart sank. This sounded BAD. “What- what happened?”

“Well there was this satyr Marsyas who found a flute lying on the ground. He was reeeeally good at playing it, and said it was as good as yours.” Birk seemed to realize WHO he was speaking to again, hurriedly adding, “Not that it WAS as good, of course not, your music is infinitely better Lord Apollo, I wouldn’t dare-”

“It’s fine Birk,” I interjected. “I’m not gonna hurt you no matter WHAT you say about me. And especially not when you’re just telling a story.”

“Al-alright then. Well like I said, he said he was as good a musician as you. Then you popped up and declared that if he really thought so, then you both should have a music contest, with the winner being able to do anything they want to the loser, exact any punishment. Marsyas had no choice but to agree. You don’t say no to a god, especially a pissed-off god. So they held a music contest, you on a lyre and Marsyas on his flute, but you guys were evenly matched. You broke the tie by saying that whoever could do the best trick-playing should win. You played the lyre backwards, but Marsyas couldn’t play the flute backwards, so you won. And then… a-and then…”

He flinched and drew in on himself, looking anywhere but at me.

Whatever caused him so much fear,  _I_  was responsible for it.

I HATED it. 

I wanted to reach out and give him a hug, but I feared that would have the opposite effect of what I wanted.

What kind of person had I been, that this kid couldn’t even talk about something I’d done without shaking in fear?

Birk took a shuddering breath. Still not looking at me, he finished his story. “And then you said that you needed to remind Marsyas that he was a mortal satyr, just flesh-and-blood. And that you were gonna prove it by- by- by skinning him alive. The rivers around where it happened still flow red with blood, and I don’t know WHAT you did with the skin. I heard one version where you made it into a wine-skin.”

Birk’s face looked green at this point. I thought mine might look the same. 

“That’s- that’s sick,” I said at last. 

I’d really done THAT? I didn’t REMEMBER that, but that didn’t mean much. I couldn’t remember much of anything from before I was a baby.

Had I really been so awful?

“I- I don’t remember any of that,” I told Birk. “I don’t know why I’d do that. I don’t know how I could even do that, torture someone to death. But I PROMISE, I’m not gonna do it to you. I’m not gonna do it to anyone. That’s- that’s WRONG and I was wrong for doing that then too.”

Birk looked back at me cautiously. “You don’t SEEM like you’d flay someone alive… but gods can be nice one minute and kill you the next. You never know with gods.”

I swallowed. 

“I’m sorry. I don’t remember it, but I AM sorry.”

I braced myself, preparing to ask the question that had been rattling around in my mind since Birk first ran off, looking terrified.

“Do you- do you still wanna be friends?”

A look of panic crossed Birk’s face.

“You don’t have to,” I blurted out hurriedly. “I’m not gonna get angry, or hurt you, or anything either way. And I don’t want you to lie because you’re afraid to say ‘no’“

Birk still looked a little freaked, but- “I… I’m still scared. I like you and you seem nice, but I can’t stop thinking about Marsyas’s screams as- as-”

“I understand,” I stated miserably, my heart in my stomach. “I’ll leave you alone then.”

I turned to leave, fighting back tears.

“WAIT!”

I whipped back around.

“I’d still like to be your friend, just… give me time? Please? And- and don’t talk to me alone. Not yet. Maybe… maybe come by again in a few weeks?”

“S-sure,” I said. 

I finally let some tears flow. As scared as he was, Birk still wanted to try to be my friend.

I hoped I was the kind of person worthy of being his friend. After hearing that story and seeing the fear in his eyes, I wasn’t so sure.

I walked back to Austin. As he took in my expression, the concern in his eyes morphed into understanding. He exhaled. “The Marsyas story, I’m guessing?”

I jerked my head upright. “You knew?!”

He looked to the side, rubbing the back of his neck. “I… suspected. I know a satyr who was scared of you because of that story. He freaked out when you came to camp last time because of it.”

“So… so it’s true,” I said dejectedly. “I really did all that.”

Austin sighed. “Probably. Most myths are true, after all.”

“How… how could I have done that? Tortured someone to death?”

Austin squatted down, getting down to eye level with me. “Apollo. Maybe you did that in the past. I don’t know, I wasn’t there. But the ‘you’ I know never would have done that. The Apollo I know pulled me and several others out of the way of Greek Fire. The Apollo I know plunged into the woods to save Kayla and I, KNOWING that it would be dangerous. I don’t know what the Apollo in the Marsyas story was really like. I don’t know why he did what he did. But I know the current ‘you’, and I think he’s a very good person. It just might take time for others to see that.”

I nodded tearfully and jumped into Austin’s arms. He cradled me close as he walked home, carrying me the whole way.

I didn’t know why I did the things I did in the past. I couldn’t change them either. But I could be a better person than I had been, a person that didn’t cause little satyr children to cry just from hearing my name.

I didn’t want to be feared anymore.


	6. Chapter 6

Week 3, Day 1

Harley’s POV

I sat in the back of Chiron’s car, fiddling with some pieces of metal, bored out of my mind. It’d been a LONG flight back from California and I just wanted to go home to my cabin and my siblings at this point. Don’t gt me wrong, I loved visiting my relatives up in Camp Jupiter, but it wasn’t home in the way Camp Half-blood was.

Chiron’s car was pretty new. All of us in the Hephaestus cabin had teamed up to build it for him for his last birthday, so he could drive even while in centaur form. Seeing his face when we presented it to him, the way his face crinkled and he choked up a bit… well it’s fun to make stuff. It’s even MORE fun to make stuff with my family. But seeing people’s faces when I give them something I helped make - that’s the best feeling of all.

Chiron cleared his throat. “So Harley, it’s been an eventful past few weeks. There’s something you should know before we arrive.”

Uh oh. That didn’t sound good.

Obviously it had been eventful lately, with fighting off the Emperors and the aftermath. I hoped everything had been okay…

“What is it?” I asked. “Is everyone okay?”

Chiron hesitated. “Well everyone is now. “

I frowned. So they weren’t before?

Chiron continued. “Apollo died during the final battle.”

“WHAT?!”

Apollo died? I hadn’t known him all that well, but I’d WANTED to get to know him better. 

Chiron winced. “Please no shouting! He’s fine now. Meg - you remember Meg right? - she became a goddess and resurrected him. He’s a god again now, but the resurrection had some side effects. He was resurrected as an infant with no memories. He’s been gradually growing up and regaining them, but he’s still missing a lot. He’s at Camp Half-Blood now.”

I blinked, then shrugged. No stranger than my big brother coming back from the dead, or Apollo turning mortal in the first place. Life was weird.

“I’m guessing he doesn’t remember me then?” I asked. 

“Probably not,” Chiron replied. “He recognizes his children - though he hasn’t realized that they ARE his children, he just seems to know that they’re family - Artemis, Meg, and his mother, Leto. Oh, and myself, vaguely. He’s been regaining his memories pretty quickly as he grows - he’s roughly the physical equivalent of a three-year-old, he’s been growing at the rate of a year per a week.”

So he’d be a LOT younger than me huh? Cool! I’d always been the baby of the camp, it’d be nice to have someone younger around, even if it was only for a little while.

Ooh, maybe I could be like an older brother! I’d always wanted to be an older brother, but no one younger had come to camp yet.

I sat back and enjoyed the rest of the ride, eager to see my friend again.

* * *

 

As soon as I arrived back at camp I ran over to the Apollo cabin. 

I skidded to a stop at the entrance and knocked on the door. Every Camper learned early on to knock if they didn’t belong to that cabin. If the cabin’s inhabitants didn’t want them in there… well… let’s just say that they had ways of making their feelings known.

After a moment the door opened. 

Austin blinked. “Harley? I’d forgotten you were coming back so soon. What are you doing here?” 

“Chiron told me about Apollo and I wanted to see him! Is he here?”

Austin’s face broke into a smile. “Yeah. He had a rough time yesterday, but I have a feeling you’ll be able to cheer him up.”

A rough time? I hoped nothing bad had happened. 

“Apollo!” Austin called, looking over his shoulder. “There’s someone here to see you!”

I heard sounds of someone scrambling upright. Moments later a small boy appeared in the doorway.

Like Chiron said, he looked about three-years-old, with curly blond hair and sky-blue eyes. He looked almost angelic.

Which immediately got my mind whirring. You can get away with SO many pranks if no one suspects you’d be the perpetrator.

Then he looked up at me and my train of thinking stopped.

Apollo looked miserable.

He shied away a minute after meeting my eyes, shrinking back as if to make himself look as small and unthreatening as possible. Which wasn’t hard, three-year-olds aren’t known for their intimidation.

“Hey, Apollo,” I asked gently. “Do you remember me?”

He shook his head.

He bit his lip, looking anxious. “Did I scare you too?”

Huh?

Where did that come from?

“What do you mean? Why would you scare me?”

He looked away again, screwing up his face, seeming to gather his courage. At last he spoke.

“Yesterday I tried to make friends with a satyr. And I thought I had! But then I told him my name and he ran off terrified. He told me later about something horrible I did to another satyr, something so bad little satyrs are told about it as a warning to not offend gods. He said he’d like to try being my friend but he was just too scared right then, that he kept hearing the screams of the satyr I killed. I didn’t like that I’d scared him. I don’t WANNA be scary.”

Ooooh. Right. Gods did some nasty things sometimes. I didn’t know what Apollo had done exactly, but it wouldn’t surprise me if he’d done some bad stuff. Killing a satyr was bad enough though.

But I didn’t believe Apollo would do anything like that now, and probably not for a long time. I’d been afraid and miserable before, believing I was responsible for some other people’s misfortune.

Apollo had helped me then. Now it was my turn.

“Hey Apollo, would you like to hear about how we became friends? I think it might help.”

Apollo sniffled a little, but looked more puzzled than miserable now. He nodded.

“One of my older brothers, Leo, had gone missing six months ago. Well, actually, he’d died and been catapulted into another dimension technically, but you’d given him the info and an ingredient he needed for the Physician’s Cure, so he was fine, he just hadn’t made it home yet. Do you remember him?”

Apollo closed his eyes and scrunched up his face. It was adorable. “I… think so? Is he short with pointy ears and does he tell a lot of bad jokes?”

I beamed. “That’s him!”

“Why am I picturing him dancing around like an insane ballerina while in only his boxers?”

I blinked. “Uhhh…”

I shook myself. “ANYWAY, Leo’d gone missing, and I’d been working on a homing beacon to help him find his way back. It hadn’t worked yet, obviously. But I wasn’t gonna give up. Not on Leo. But in the meantime, I was getting discouraged, so Chiron let me set up a three-legged race through the Labyrinth, filled with some of my deadly traps! Well, I joked about them being deadly, but I didn’t MEAN it. I didn’t mean for anything bad to happen, but then…”

I took a deep breath. This part was hard to talk about.

Austin leaned forwards and put a hand on my shoulder, giving me a comforting smile. “It’s fine. It wasn’t your fault, no one ever blamed you for it. It was Nero’s fault, and Nero’s alone.”

I gave him a tiny smile back. “Thanks.”

“Austin and Kayla both went missing during the race. I thought it was my fault. I walked over to apologize to you, crying, afraid for them, and afraid of what you’d do to me because they’d gone missing because of me. Do you know what you did?”

Apollo shook his head, wide-eyed.

“You told me it was alright, and asked to see my beacon, the one I’d built for Leo. I was afraid you might smash it in retaliation, sort of a ‘I can’t find my family, so you can’t find yours’ thing. But you didn’t. Instead you took it gently and fiddled with the settings, changing the frequency to one that Festus - Leo’s metal dragon, they went missing together - could hear better, in the hopes that it’d bring him back. And you told me something I’ve never forgotten. I asked you whether Festus would hear it now, and you said,”

_“I don’t know. Just as you could not have known what the Labyrinth would do today. But that doesn’t mean we should stop trying. Never stop inventing, son of Hepheastus.”_

I blinked away tears as I recounted Apollo’s words.

“What you said then meant a LOT to me. You could’ve blamed me. _I_  blamed me. But you didn’t. You comforted me, told me it wasn’t my fault, told me not to give up, and not to let it stop me from doing what I loved.”

“So yeah, maybe I was a little scared of you before. But I’m not now. Because you saw a scared kid and decided to comfort him instead of yell at him. You helped bring back his sibling. You were kind, and gentle, and great, and I love being your friend.”

Apollo teared up and launched himself forwards, hugging me for all he was worth. I hugged him back.

I didn’t care about whatever he’d done a long time ago in the past. This Apollo was my friend, and I was gonna look after him.

_…He’s gonna be older than you again in two months_ , my mind whispered.

Shut up me, we’re having a moment here.

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was difficult to actually write, since I didn't have a focused plot for it. But I finally finished it!

Week 4 Day 2

Apollo's POV

“Hey Apollo! There’s someone here to see you!”

I tilted my head. I couldn’t think of who it could be - not off the top of my head at any rate. Not that that meant much. My memory was still messed up. I’d been getting more flashbacks lately though, most of which WEREN’T extremely sad and terrifying. It was a nice change of pace!

It did make me wonder where the rest of my divine family were. I loved Sis and Mom, but I kinda missed the others. Well, some of them. There was that really stern but really smart lady, who I THINK is one of my sisters, but I don’t remember for sure. Honestly from what I remember, it’s probably safe to assume that at least half of the gods I remember are my siblings. Father had a LOT of children.

_A large man sat on his throne, glaring at me. I shivered and shrunk under his gaze. What had I done now? Why was he so angry? He raised his lightning bolt, the glare gone and a sort of detachedness filling his expression instead._

_That was worse. When he grew detached…_

I shook myself. This was the present. He WASN’T HERE.

“Apollo?” Kayla asked me, sounding concerned.

I swiftly put a smile on my face. There was no reason to worry her..

“Who is it?” I asked, trying to deflect her attention.

She still looked a little worried, but she dropped it. “Percy’s here.”

Percy?

I frowned. The name seemed familiar, but I couldn’t place it. Kayla seemed happy at least, so Percy was probably pretty nice and friendly.

“O….kay?” I told her.

Her face fell. “Don’t remember him either, huh?”

I shook my head.

She sighed. “I guess that makes sense. I don’t think you knew him THAT well. Pretty much everyone’s met him, but that doesn’t mean he’s close to everyone.”

“If you want, I can come back later,” a muffled voice sounded from the other side of the cabin door.

Kayla looked at me questioningly. I nodded.

She opened the door. “No, this is fine. It’s just…”

I entered the doorway. I was a lot bigger now. I wanted to handle this myself.

“I don’t remember you. I’m sorry.” I told the teenager.

Studying him, I could see why Kayla thought I might remember him. You could feel a sort of… power coming off of him. It wasn’t exactly intimidating, more just… present. And not just from being a demigod. His demeanor, the way he looked at people, all of it screamed  _Pay attention. This person is a leader. You want him on YOUR side._

He stared at me. “I knew you’d been deaged, but it’s still really weird seeing you like this.”

I shrugged. It seemed normal for me, but this was most of what I could remember, so of course it would. Plus from what I COULD remember from before, ‘weird’ was the course of the day for a god.

He rubbed the back of his head. “Well I don’t know whether you’d be interested since you don’t remember me, but my Mom invited you and Meg to come over to our apartment for a bit. She’s been worried about you two since you first dropped by, and when she heard about you dying and Zeus incinerating Meg… well she’s HEARD that you two are okay now, but that’s different from SEEING it. Meg already said she’s coming, and Leto asked to come as well. I’d have asked Artemis too, but I couldn’t find her. Leto said she’d be gone for awhile.”

I nodded. Artemis had been spending more and more time with her Hunters. I was sad she wasn’t around as much, but I understood. They needed her. She still came by regularly at least, she just couldn’t be at Camp all the time anymore.

If both Leto AND Meg wanted to go, then…

“I’ll come,” I told him. “I might not remember you, but if Mother and Meg are going, then I’m going too.”

Besides, I could always use new friends. Or old ones, I supposed. And his mother had been WORRIED about me. 

I hadn’t seen much of my family except for Mom and Sis, so hearing that someone else’s family was concerned and wanted to check up on me? It made me feel a warm glow in my chest.

* * *

 

The four of us arrived at the Jackson apartment a few hours later. Percy had driven us, though he seemed weirdly nervous about it. Something about the car nearly crashing last time? I had a feeling he was talking about before I lost my memories, when I was big.

It was always weird to think back to those times. It was me, but… kinda not. I felt… different. I thought differently. And I knew there was a LOT I’d forgotten. From some of the stuff I HAD remembered… well I wasn’t entirely sure I wanted to get all my memories back. 

But I needed to. Even if some of those memories were painful. And even - no - ESPECIALLY if some of those memories had me doing awful things. I needed to know.

Didn’t stop me from being scared though.

I stayed quiet throughout the car ride. I think Mom could tell there was something wrong with me, but she didn’t pry. Meg just munched on some fries she’d gotten from… somewhere. I wasn’t sure whether she’d snuck them in her gardening belt, or whether Meg had used her new divine powers to help satisfy a case of the munchies. They seemed equally plausible.

As we walked up to the door, I felt a weird sense of deja vu. Well, maybe not THAT weird. I had been here before apparently. But for me to have this feeling after only being here… huh. I didn’t actually KNOW how many times. Probably not a lot. I hadn’t known Percy that well from what people were telling me after all.

“Percy? Are you there?” I heard a woman’s voice call.

“Yeah, Mom! We’re here! Oh, and Leto came as well, so I hope you made a lot.”

I heard a chuckle as I watched Percy’s mom walk into the room.

But not just her. No, she was carrying something. 

Or rather, someONE.

I rushed over before I knew what I was doing, peering up at the baby she was holding.

The baby yawned and blinked sleepily at me.

I squealed.

Percy’s mom noticed my interest. She bent down to my level, still holding the child. “This is Estelle, my little star. Do you want to hold her?”

I nodded eagerly. Slowly, gently, she transferred the little girl into my arms. 

Estelle made a little noise as she gazed up at me.

I melted.

She was so cute! So adorable! This small child, this little life… I wanted to protect her.

“I think she likes you.”

I looked up at Percy’s mom, who gave me a soft smile. I realized that I was grinning back.

Meg walked up to Percy’s mom, looking weirdly nervous. She held onto her dress, twisting the fabric as she looked down.

I blinked. Was Meg… shy? I’d never seen her act shy before! …Had I?

_We stood in the doorway of the Jackson apartment. A young man opened the door, looking thoroughly DONE with the world. “Why?”_

_Meg inched back, hiding behind me, as if afraid Percy might hurt her._

Then I was back in the present.

Hm. So Meg HAD acted shy before. Or maybe more scared than shy. In that memory, I’d instinctively KNOWN that Percy wasn’t the sort of person who would hurt her. But I guess Meg didn’t know that.

Percy’s mother approached Meg slowly, gently. “I heard about everything that happened,” she told her. “You’ve had a rough time of it, but you succeeded despite EVERYTHING. You even saved Apollo! And I am so, so proud of you.”

Meg stared at her for a moment… and then ran towards her for a hug. I heard some faint sobbing emanating from where she buried her face in Percy’s mother’s shoulder, but when she looked up again, her face was dry… mostly. Eagle-eyed as I was, I spotted some slight puffiness to her eyes.

The hug broke a minute later, Percy’s mother giving Meg a soft smile. “Would you like to help me make dessert, dear? You don’t have to if you don’t want to, but…”

“Okay,” Meg said casually. But I saw how her eyes sparkled.

Percy’s mother glanced over at my own mother. “You can watch us bake if you’d like, Leto. Or watch over Estelle, of course.”

“I think my son has that well in hand,” Leto replied, giving me a bemused look. I grinned, gently rocking Estelle from side to side. She was adorable.

“Percy, could you look after Apollo and Estelle please? This shouldn’t take long.”

Percy shrugged. “Sure.”

He looked over at me, gesturing for me to follow him. “C’mon, I’ll show you the nursery. I got to pick out the decorations!”

* * *

 

(Meg’s POV)

I followed Leto and Sally to the kitchen. I wasn’t sure how baking worked - I hadn’t been allowed to use a stove or oven when I was under Nero’s control, and no one was around to teach me how to cook anyway. And while I was journeying with Apollo, I had better things to do than learn how to cook.

But now? The idea of learning how to cook seemed… interesting. Normal. I couldn’t do it before, but now, in this new life I’d made for myself, I could. And I even had someone to teach me! Speaking of which…

“What’re we making?”

Whatever it was, I was SURE it’d be delicious.

Sally rummaged around the cupboards as Leto took a seat at the kitchen table. “We’re gonna make blue chocolate chip cookies. We can set them baking while we eat.”

“Blue?” I’d never HEARD of blue cookies. I’d seen red and green sugar cookies near Christmas, but blue?

Sally gave a small, sad smile. “Yes. I started making all my food blue as a rebellion, but even after I didn’t need to rebel anymore - well the blue food stuck.”

I cocked my head to the side. “Rebellion? Who were you rebelling against?”

She was quiet for a moment. Her expression turned stormy. “Gabe Ugliano. The most unpleasant man I ever had the displeasure of knowing.”

I frowned. “Who was he?”

She grimaced. “My husband. I needed to keep Percy hidden from monsters. As a child of Poseidon, he has a stronger scent than most other demigods. Combined with needing to keep him hidden from the gods in order to keep him safe from their wrath… well I had to take extreme measures. That meant finding the stinkiest, most aggressively mortal smelling man I could find, and marrying him in the hopes that his stench would cover up Percy’s scent.”

I studied her face. Between the disgust in her voice and the pinched expression on her face, I could guess what kind of man Gabe was.

“He hurt you,” I said to her quietly. “You and Percy.”

She shook her head. “Only me, at least as far as I know. I tried to protect Percy as best I could, including from… HIM.”

This man - no - this BEAST had hurt Sally. Had probably hurt Percy, in one way or another. He’d hurt these kind people.

The only reason I wasn’t swearing vengeance against him already, was because I was CERTAIN he was already ‘taken care of’. No way Percy would allow someone to hurt his mother like that and get away with it.

But it didn’t hurt to check.

“He’s gone, right? He can’t hurt anyone anymore?”

Sally gave me a cutthroat smile. I was abruptly reminded that she was PERCY’S mother. I could see where he got his intimidation from.

“Oh, don’t worry about him. I put him to - ah - GOOD use. He won’t hurt or threaten anyone ever again. In fact, he’s rather… inspirational now.”

I abruptly decided to drop that line of questioning. Gabe was taken care of. That was all I needed to know.

Sally’s smile dropped, her expression softening. “I heard about Nero. I’m sorry you had to go through staying with that horrible man. I don’t know whether you’re interested, but if you ever want to come over and visit, or stay over, my door is always open for you.”

I choked up a little. 

I heard a noise from behind me. I startled and manifested my sickles, before realizing it was just Leto. She put up her hands in a calming gesture. I turned my weapons back into rings, embarrassed.

Leto looked over at Sally, giving her a proud look. “You are an extraordinary woman, Sally.”

Sally looked slightly puzzled. Leto elaborated. “I came here partly to accompany Apollo… but mostly so I could meet YOU. I’d already heard enough about Percy’s childhood, seen enough of what you did for him, to know that you were a wonderful mother, a wonderful person. But you did something more. Your kindness saved my son.”

Now Sally REALLY looked confused. “All I did was let him in, ask Percy to help bandage him up and find him some clothing, and made him some food…?”

Leto chuckled. “And those small kindnesses alone can mean a lot, when you have little else to cling to. But it’s not the kindness you showed towards Apollo DIRECTLY that made the difference. It’s the kindness you showed towards someone else, someone who hadn’t experienced any genuine kindness for a long, long time. Someone who I’ve recently adopted as my daughter.”

Oh. OH. She was talking about…

I blinked rapidly. There must’ve been flour in my eyes. Yeah. That was it.

Sally’s eyes drifted over to me. I ducked my head a little.

Leto’s eyes twinkled as she saw Sally make the connection. “If you hadn’t been as kind a person as you are - if you hadn’t helped the way you did - my son would not exist anymore.”

“Wait… what?” Sally asked. “How…? I only helped clean Meg up, gave her some clothes, and brought out some food?”

“But that was enough,” I told her, taking over the conversation from Leto. This was my story to tell. “You showed me that I didn’t need to be nervous around all adults. That maybe - just maybe - I could trust people.”

I took a deep breath. “You gave me this dress. It was the first gift I’d received without strings attached for - for a VERY long time. Even when I went back to Nero for a bit, I didn’t stop wearing it. It reminded me that Nero was WRONG. That I COULD trust some people. That Nero wasn’t my only option.”

“I kept wearing the dress, even after I rejoined Apollo. No matter how beat up it got, I had it repaired. Because it meant a lot to me. And that- that allowed me to use it to save Apollo.”

“You saved Apollo using my old dress?” Sally inquired. It DID sound ridiculous when put like that. But we dealt in the ridiculous. It came with being a demigod - or a god. Or anyone vaguely affiliated with a god or demigod. 

“Feelings and beliefs have power. The Emperors became gods because people worshipped them as gods. The kindness you demonstrated when you gave me that dress, your wish that I be safe and happy, my using the dress as a reminder of everything good about the people I’ve met - it gave the dress power. Gave me power. When Zeus incinerated me, he incinerated the dress as well. But not  the IDEA of the dress. Not what it meant to me.”

“To me, this dress is protection. Kindness. A promise that someone cares, even when people are whispering in your ear telling you you’re wrong.”

“The dryads’ worship of me put me on the brink of godhood. Their belief gave me the option to return. But Apollo was so, so weak - the barrier didn’t want to let him through. And every moment we lingered on the edge of nonexistence, it got harder and harder to return. I needed a way to keep his essence intact. That’s where your dress came in. I was able to ‘wrap’ Apollo’s essence in the ‘idea’ of the dress. I ‘tore’ off a strip and swaddled him in its protection. All the emotions, desires, beliefs I’d built up around the dress, I used to keep him safe. But I wouldn’t have been able to do that if you hadn’t given me the dress in the first place.”

I saw tears glisten in Sally’s eyes. “Oh-oh..” she choked out.

And then… Leto gave a bow. A slight one, but the meaning was clear. “You are one of the best mothers I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting, Sally Blofis. If you ever need a favor, just ask. I can’t promise that I’ll be able to fulfill it - I know better than to promise such things without VERY good reason - but I DO promise to listen to your request.”

Sally’s lips quirked up. “Actually… I DO have one small request. Could you look after Estelle? Percy can take care of himself pretty well, but I’m worried about her. And I’d rather ask you than a certain goddess. I REFUSE to allow one of my children to be taken from me again.”

Leto gave a slight smirk. “Oh, I know exactly who you’re referring to. I don’t believe she has any designs for Estelle, but rest assured, I’ll help Estelle as much as I am allowed to. It’s the least I can do. Besides, she’s adorable.”

“Yes, she is,” Sally agreed. She blinked. “And if we want to have dinner before she goes to sleep, we’d better get moving with these cookies.”

Sally and I got back to work, Sally explaining every step of the cooking process. It was so normal, so ordinary, but it meant the world to me.

* * *

 

(Apollo’s POV)

I rocked Estelle from side-to-side in my lap. It was kinda tricky since I was so small, but I managed. I loved the way she looked around curiously at everything - ESPECIALLY at me. Not that I could blame her. I was FASCINATING after all.

Percy watched me cooed over his little sister, an odd expression on his face. “You really love babies, huh?” he asked. His tone seemed… thoughtful, I guess? Like he was trying to puzzle something out.

I shrugged. “I guess? I like her at least. I don’t REMEMBER having met any other babies before, but I don’t remember a lot of stuff.

Percy opened his mouth, still giving me that strange, contemplative look, and then closed it again, looking away. It seemed like maybe he wanted to ask me something, but didn’t know whether he should? Or how to?

That was kinda a scary thought.

But I’d had to deal with a lot of scary thoughts.

I’d rather get this - whatever it was - out of the way now.

At least Percy didn’t look afraid of me, unlike Birk.

I steeled myself and looked Percy in the eye. “What’s wrong? You’re acting weird.”

He blinked. “Nothing’s wrong.”

Well maybe not WRONG but… “You keep giving me strange looks, like I’M the one that’s acting weird.”

He sighed. “I don’t know how much I should say. I heard you don’t remember much.”

“Just say it,” I told him calmly, though my stomach clenched. “I already know I did some awful things in the past that scared people. I didn’t like finding out about it, but I needed to know.”

He shook his head. “It’s nothing that bad, I promise. Honestly I’m mostly not sure about telling you because I’m not sure you’d understand it right now, because of the whole age thing.”

Oh. Well that’s actually a pretty good reason. But…

“Why don’t you try explaining it, and I’ll tell you what I can understand?” I suggested. “If I can’t get it, then nothing’s lost. You can just try again later when I’m older and CAN understand it.”

He hummed a little. “Okay I’ll give it a try. But if Meg or your mom get upset…”

“I’ll tell them I asked,” I cut in.

He nodded, eyes closed. Probably thinking of how to phrase… whatever it was.

“It just seems weird to see how much you love babies, because back at Camp, before all this happened, I didn’t really see you taking care of little kids, or hear about you dropping by and spending a ton of time with them,” he said carefully.

O…kay? “I don’t really know much about that stuff,” I told him. “I know I thought of things a little differently - I MUST’VE, with some of the stories I’ve heard of stuff I did back before, but I only remember a little of how I DID think. Is me liking little kids really so different though?”

“I don’t know,” he replied, his eyebrows creased. “I’m beginning to realize how little I actually knew about you, or about the whole situation with you and the other gods.”

“What situation?”

“You gods’ relationship with your kids. Why you weren’t around more. Why you didn’t help more.”

I stared at him. Kids? What?

Percy continued. “Most of us demigods were lucky to see our divine parents once every few years. Heck, we were lucky if our divine parent decided to acknowledge us at all. I thought that most of the gods just didn’t care that much about kids and that’s why you guys were rarely involved, but getting to know you after you were turned human and seeing you now with my little sister, I’m not so sure.”

I was definitely missing something. Something big.

I had a feeling that Percy was right, and this was one of those things I had trouble remembering. Had trouble thinking about.

“I… don’t entirely get it,” I confessed.

“Yeah, I guess you wouldn’t,” Percy replied. “Will DID say that you didn’t seem to realize that you’re his and his siblings’ divine parent, that you couldn’t seem to grasp it.”

Aaaaand there was the static again. I really hated that.

“I can’t, I guess,” I sighed. “But it sounds like you’re rethinking what you thought about me and some other gods because I’m acting differently than how you thought I would?”

He hesitated. “I guess so?”

I didn’t totally know what to do with that. But.

“I guess we can figure it out together?” I offered. “I’m still not sure who I was or who I am. Not really. I’m… not sure ANYONE really knows that. I guess we just keep trying to figure it out, look at things differently. Try to understand each other and ourselves a little better everyday, even as we’re changing. That’s the best we can do.”

Percy stared at me. Then he chuckled, breaking the tension. “You know, you’re surprisingly smart for a - what, four-year-old?”

I puffed myself up. “Hey, what’s that supposed to mean?!” I cried indignantly.

But I couldn’t maintain it and started giggling myself moments later, Estelle joining in.

It was just nice. Really, really nice. I didn’t know these two very well, but I WANTED to learn more. To be a part of their lives.

I wanted to watch Estelle grow up. To celebrate when she took her first steps.

I wanted… I wanted to just - BE a part of this world. Of this little bit of happiness.

I started singing “Part of your world”. Afterwards I said that it was just because Percy was Poseidon’s son so it was an obvious choice, and that was true, but there was MORE to it than that.

I was Ariel, and I wanted to be a part of this world.

* * *

 

Dinner went well. Meg seemed very relaxed and comfortable with Sally - which I’d expect, but the WAY she was relaxed… well, it seemed that Meg might have a third mother now of sorts. 

I was mostly interested in the food though. Sally was the kind of cook that in ancient times, one of us gods would have spirited away to Olympus and made into a god so that we could enjoy their cooking for all eternity! As it was, I asked her whether she could make food for all of Camp Half-Blood at least once, so all the campers could taste it… and all the gods. It seemed like a daunting task, but she said she’d think about it. I hope she does. I can DEFINITELY see why Uncle Poseidon fell for her. Her cooking alone would be enough to win anyone over!

I was sad to finally leave. I hadn’t remembered Percy before, but it was really nice hanging out with him. It made me wonder…

“Hey, Meg?” I asked, tugging at her dress. She looked down.

“What is it?”

“I really enjoyed going to see Sally, Percy, and Estelle, even though I couldn’t remember them. So I was just wondering… is there anyone else I forgot that we should visit? I love being with my family, but I kinda wanna see my friends too, even if I don’t remember how we became friends. And…” 

I looked down. 

“I’m glad I’ve got Harley to be friends with, but… I’d like to see more people my age or younger. There’s no one at camp as little as me who isn’t afraid of me!”

Meg seemed to think for a minute. “Well… she’s still a little older than you, but she’s the person I can think of who’s closest to your age, and she’s probably your family too…”

I perked up. “Who?!”

“Georgina. We helped rescue her during your trials a few months ago. She’s seven years old, though she’s pretty big for her age. She lives at the Waystation.”

Waystation…?

That sounded familiar…

_Two older women comforting each other, tears in their eyes._

_A short, almost elfin-looking Latino boy, grinning as he cared some cheese into the room, cracking jokes._

_Singing a sad duet with a pretty teenage girl, feeling trapped._

_A scarred young man sitting in the corner, dejected and miserable._

_And a young girl handing me a doll made of pipe cleaners._

There were more people I wished to see. More that I’d forgotten. I’d miss the rest of my family, but… I wanted to see these people. To learn more about them. And hopefully, remember them. And maybe help them. It didn’t escape my notice that most of them seemed sad or miserable in my memory. I wanted to cheer them up! To help them! I didn’t know whether I could, but I could at least try. That’s all I COULD do.

“I’d… I’d like to visit her, and everyone else at the Waystation. Please.” 

Meg hummed, then nodded. “I’ll talk to Artemis and Leto about it. And Leo, of course.”

“Leo?”

A memory of that same elfin Latino boy flashed through my head, though this time he was playing some musical instrument. A beautiful instrument. One I wanted really, really badly.

Maybe we could play some music together!

“Sounds great!” I told her, buoyed by the thought of playing a duet with this boy I could barely remember, but felt a strange affection for.

“Are we gonna take Artemis’s chariot again?” I said casually, trying not to betray how much I liked the thought. I’d love to pet the deer again!

“..Maybe?” Meg said, deep in thought. “Leo has his own ride though. He’s slower, but it might be better to take him instead.”

His own ride? I didn’t see how you could get much better than those deer of Artemis’s, but hey, who knows. Leo could surprise me.

Meg dropped me off at my cabin, returning me to the rest of my family. I hugged each of them in turn. I probably wouldn’t be here much longer, so I’d enjoy what time I had left with them. Then, it would be time to see more of my forgotten friends and… maybe family?

 

 


End file.
